meladoodle:

godlykesha:

meladoodle:

one time my dad tripped over some ice and was like ‘this is JUST like the titanic’

is this the same dad that once called you dad

no, that was a different dad. i have thousands of dads that ive synthesised in my home lab in the basement. speaking of that, the three armed one just got out again god damnit

posted 48 seconds ago with 191,396 notes
via:buckybarnestws source:meladoodle

jaegerrrrr:

when your friend gives you a fic rec and it turns out to be really sad

image

posted 1 minute ago with 29,249 notes
via:phil-peen source:jaegerrrrr
posted 2 minutes ago with 2,417 notes
via:pizza source:leilockheart

unbadger:

senpaidave:

[AGGRESSIVELY ATTEMPTS TO GO TO BED]

posted 2 minutes ago with 84,618 notes
via:gaytiers source:senpaidave

High five my tongue with your tongue

(Source: christianmingle)

posted 3 minutes ago with 391,022 notes
via:dickfinder source:christianmingle

dw:

when someone gives you directions but you go the wrong way

image

posted 10 minutes ago with 98,282 notes
via:phil-peen source:dw

seducemymindyouidiot:

jaegerbitch:

if someone calls you a slut, break their fucking neck without even hesitating or saying a single word and as they lay there on the ground dead, lean down close to their corpse and whisper

slut means the end in swedish

This should probably not be construed as valid legal advice. 

posted 10 minutes ago with 182,519 notes
via:phil-peen source:xehyun

antonyelchen:

[effie trinket voice] that is MISOGYNY

posted 1 day ago with 75,743 notes
via:sinbins source:punksansa

sadboyshotta:

get rich or cry tryin

posted 1 day ago with 143,969 notes
via:pleasantriess source:sadboyshotta

jiyongs-g-thong:

wheres the customize button for my face

posted 1 day ago with 206,742 notes
via:pizza source:jiyongs-g-thong

cyberfricking:

when u type ;) instead of :)
image

(Source: cyberfricking)

posted 1 day ago with 206,037 notes
via:penis-hilton source:cyberfricking

vrisktorias-sekret:

all-good-usernames-are-taken:

WHAT A LITTLE SHIT

i lOVE HOW HE JUST HESITATES FOR A SECOND

THEN HE JUST

REBELLION”

(Source: caps-soldier)

posted 4 days ago with 1,272,631 notes
via:someone-howell source:caps-soldier

cigabrettemichaels:

coral-fangs:

comealongmisspond:

vajoochie:

how do boys look good without makeup

Because society hasn’t told boys they look bad without it

shots fired

Holy shit

posted 4 days ago with 878,235 notes
via:someone-howell source:vajoochie

hungarian:

what do u mean i don’t have a social life I just went grocery shopping with my mom

posted 4 days ago with 507,280 notes
via:fajhitas source:hungarian

unlawfully:

Having a cute waiter like I’ll have the chicken with a side of that dick

posted 4 days ago with 112,377 notes
via:fajhitas source:unlawfully
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